To cut a long drunken story short, we drank and danced until we were ready to drop. When we decided to call it a night, we headed outside to wait for one of the husbands to pick us up. Now this is where the drama begins. One of the ladies I was with tends to think she's invincible and above the law when intoxicated. So when we walk outside and see six police officers mingling she starts working her big trap.
"Police office, this lady touched my naughty place."
"Cuntstable (and yes, that is how she pronounced it), you need to frisk this lady, she has drugs."
The list goes on. Now for as long as I can remember, I've always been the angelic faced princess who never gets in trouble. I've never had a speeding fine, nor a parking fine. I haven't been involved in a car accident. I'm as sweet as sugar and innocent as pie. So when one of the officers gets the shits and storms over to us, I'm completely blown away that he looks at ME, and starts demanding I show some respect.
My hubby is a fireman. I have never, nor will I ever disrespect a policeman. I respect the work they do and appreciate how they put their lives on the line to protect others. So I'm sitting there, taking the blame for something I didn't do, wondering where the hell my sweet innocent face has gone, while the culprit plays on her phone, ignoring the whole situation.
"You need to show some respect. We don't appreciate those sort of comments. We put our lives on the line for you and one day you might need me to help you out."
Apparently I didn't look as shocked as my internal dialogue suggested because his next comment was, "Do you think this is funny? You need to wipe that smirk off your face."
What the hell! I was smirking? It seriously must have been the alcohol putting the inappropriate look on my face because on the inside I was shitting a brick.
"I think it's funny because I didn't say a word, yet I'm the one getting in trouble." I replied.
And yes, I was thankful when he acknowledged his mistake and turned his eyes to my companions, continuing to give the grilling in their direction. Did it stop my friend from mouthing off? Nope. She still slowly pronounced his title as 'cuntstable.'
Moving along, it's now two days later. I'm home alone, thankfully its midday because there has been a blackout. I walked outside to check the switchboard and there is a stash of jewellery hidden around the side of my house. Earrings, bracelets, car keys and a watch. Last week four houses in my neighborhood were broken into. Four houses in a relatively new, very small suburb, made up of a handful of streets.
I'm freaking out a little, as any normal person would. It's obvious that a criminal has been in my yard, right next to my bedroom.
I called the police and was informed that they would send a car out to inspect the items.
Anyone want to bet against the odds that the policeman who turns up will be the same one from the weekend? Unfortunately with my luck lately I think the odds aren't in my favor and my day will be topped off by an arrogant police man saying, "See, I knew you'd need me one day."
And NO, he definitely wasn't the type of officer I would like to have frisking me.