But I also wanted to share it here.
The 'Music for the Muse' challenge is a way to get the writing juices flowing. Out of the song selections on offer I picked - Three Day's Grace - I Hate Everything About You.
Rona read the numbers on the hotel door. This was it. The right room, the right hotel, but definitely the wrong thing to be doing.
Her gaze followed her quavering hand as it reached up, poised to knock on the solid wood. Christ. How did she end up here? She didn’t have the strength of heart to share another intimate moment with Aiden. Yet here she stood, at his door, about to repeat the mistakes of her past.
She raised her chin, squared her shoulders and rapped loudly on the door. Her leg jiggled, furiously tapping against the floor as the rush of blood began to pound in her ears. She should leave. She should turn and run like fuck, hoping Aiden didn’t see her.
The door opened. One minute her eyes were unfocused on the immaculate paint job and the next she stared into the eyes of the man who stole her heart.
“Hey gorgeous.” The heat of his graveled voice seeped into her. The sound she’d heard in her dreams for months now traveling over her skin, into her pores and settling into the space where her heart should be. “I didn’t think you’d show up.”
She hadn’t either. In fact she still couldn’t believe she was here, but she had a score to settle. She wanted her heart back. She needed to end things her way. To walk away this time with her pride intact instead of being left in a sobbing mess on the floor.
Rona didn’t bother to reply. Instead she stepped forward, taking a moment to glare at him before pushing past into the room. She couldn’t open her mouth. If she wanted to remain in control, she needed to stay focused.
She made her way to the windows, peering down at the city bright with lights below. Her brain buzzed with heightened thoughts, memories and sensations. She itched to turn around, to look at the body she longed to touch, to stare deep into the brown depths of his eyes and let the rest of the world fade away.
Her skin tingled with awareness, goose bumps spreading over her body as Aiden moved up behind her. His breath warmed her neck, the touch of his lips on the juncture of her shoulder making her knees weak. He gripped her hips, gently pulling his pelvis tight against her ass. She couldn’t help the moan that escaped over the tell tale sign of his erection. No man had ever pleasured her like Aiden.
No! She internally snapped out of her dreamy state. She wouldn’t allow him to take control. This was her last hurrah. She would be making the moves, pulling the punches.
Turning to face him, she pushed on his chest, taking a step back so a foot of space stood between them. She looked him over in blatant assessment. He still looked good. Real good. His t-shirt hugged his shoulders, defining his pecs and leaving her with a great view of his sculpted arms.
His gaze warmed her skin as they stood in silence, his strong hands moving up to rest gently on her shoulders. With sure fingers she gripped the waist of his low hung jeans, jostling his body. Without preamble she started undoing the button on his pants, moving the zipper down. Before she could start pulling his jeans down he gripped her wrists.
“Hey,” he questioned softly.
Rona paused, unable to look at him, instead turning to focus on the view as she measured her breaths, trying to gain strength. He wouldn’t let her hide though. One of his hands reached up to gently grasp her chin, moving it so their gazes met. Her eyes began to burn, the telltale sign of tears now forming.
His expression was confused, a frown marring the tanned skin of his face. “What’s this about, Rona?” The words were filled with pain, as if he was the one dying on the inside.
“Sex. Isn’t that what it’s always been about?” She tried not to sound bitter, tried to hold in her hurt and anger, but he winced anyway.
“No.” He shook his head, adamant. “It was never just about sex for me.
”She wanted to scream ‘bullshit’, to poke him in the chest and tell him ‘like hell it wasn’t’ but she didn’t want to relive the past. She was here to move on.
Reaching on tiptoes she pressed her lips to his, her hand moving to grip the dark strands of his hair. She held him tight and relished the moan that escaped his lips. With unbridled emotions she kissed him, letting all her anger, all her pain escape. Her tongue sought his, and he opened his mouth, returning her passion. She felt the unwelcomed tingle of a sob tickle her throat, but she ignored it, gripping his hair tighter, molding her body into his.
Without warning he broke the kiss, pulling back to look into her eyes. He scrutinised her, his eyes pained as he gazed at her in earnest.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I know things between us have never been smooth, but I promise baby. This time will be different.”
Hell no! He didn’t get to apologise or make promises for a future that would never exist. Not now. Did he think those words could mend her heart? She thumped at his chest once, beating him as she tried to beat down her own emotions. She wished she could hurt him, even just a little bit. If she didn’t build up her walls soon, she would be lost in the depths of his sincerity and fall into the unrelenting grasp of love.
Getting back to the task at hand she pulled at the waist of his pants, yanking, tugging and letting her frustrations out.
“Hey,” he haltered her actions again and she couldn’t help but let the sob escape.Why couldn’t he just sleep with her?
Why couldn’t he let her say goodbye the way she wanted to?
His face hovered over hers, his nose nuzzling into her before his mouth came down to rest a feather light kiss on her lips. No. She didn’t want soft. She didn’t want sweet. She wanted anger. She wanted pain.
She yanked her head back as if revolted but he didn’t stop. He continued to trail the soft touch of his lips against her cheek, up to her ear.
“I still love you,” the words whispered into her brain, cracking the waning restraint of her emotions. No. No, no, no, no, no. “I will always love you.”
She ground her teeth together, felt the hot rush as tears as they trailed down her face. “I hate you.”
God, she wished she could hate him. If only she could feel the truth behind her words, then she’d be able to move on.He didn’t stop moving his lips, didn’t stop the scorching trail of his kisses.
“You will always be mine,” he breathed. Each time he spoke it felt like a physical blow to her body. Her chest now aching and hollow from the battering.
“I’ve missed you, Rona.” He murmured the words over her skin as his arms gripped her in a tight embrace. “I’ve dreamed about you every night.”
The hope she had come to detest started to climb from the depths of her soul. The recollection of them as a happy couple flashed through her mind, making her dizzy and unable to think.
“No!” she lashed out, beating her fists on his chest. “No. No. No. No. No.” Each word came with another blow, another hammering on his solid chest. And he let her. He took the punches without complaint, without anger as they became more intense. His footing started to fumble as her hits grew in strength and she started to punctuate each punch with a push.
She heard her own sobs, felt the tears streaking down her face and still she didn’t stop. Not until she backed him into the wall. His arms gripped her tighter and she looked up to glare at him. To tell him how much she hated him. How much she despised him for leaving her. For ruining their future. But as her eyes met his, she noticed the streaks down his face.
Damn it! He wasn’t allowed to feel hurt. He had no right to act upset when she was the one living her days grieving for a man that wasn’t even dead.
She couldn’t do this. She needed to leave.
Wriggling her body, she tried to break free of his arms. Why the hell did she come here? It was stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
“Let me go!” she screamed in his face, her knees buckling under the pain, under the yearning.She pleaded with her eyes, imploring Aiden to release her, but his grip only tightened, pulling them chest to chest.He looked into her eyes, his gaze heating her insides, moving into her chest, through her belly, down to her toes.
“I love you,” he whispered again.